My Delicious Fried Ticket to Hell

I've seen the check-ins and heard friends rave about the new hot spot in the neighborhood so, I had to make a trip to Magnolia Sliders and taste for myself. Needless to say, I took a crew of heavies to help me order more than the usual 3 things so that I wouldn't give away my secret fat girl identity. First on the list was, of course, The Slider... a mini-burger topped with grilled onions and Jalapeño Ranch Sauce. $1.50 a piece and just one was enough to start the ball of delicious madness rolling for me. The sauce, itself, was a zesty ranch delight.  Next up, FUNNEL CAKE! Yes.... I said funnel cake. This, alone, is worth the trip to 75th.  It was topped with banana slices, powdered sugar, whipped cream and chocolate drizzle. The cake stayed crispy on the outside and soft and warm on the inside under all of that sugary craziness.  $5.50 each is a steal compared to the rodeo.  3rd course, Jalapeño Poppers.  At 4 for $2.50, my taste buds screamed with joy for these cream cheese filled balls of love.  Then, came the FRIED........ TWINKIES!!!  $2.00 is a small price to pay for the greatest invention ever made. Just one made me wish the car would never start.  I almost slashed the tires, myself, just so we could stay for another hour.  Another beautiful masterpiece were the Loaded Ribbon Fries.  These thinly cut and fried potato slices were piled into a mountain pointing straight to Heaven and smothered with slightly spicy nacho cheese and sprinkled with bacon bits.  I don't know about you but I've been to the mountain top and I cringed at the thought of returning from it.  $3.50 was the toll for that climb.  And for desert.... the elusive FRIED OREOS with Ice Cream.  This magical sinning moment consisted of four battered and fried Oreo Cookies surrounding a scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream.  I took my time on these because scooping ice cream on top of the Oreo and taking a small bite seemed like murder.  How could I?  I just couldn't back down.  Now I know how the bad vampires felt on Twilight... and I'd do it all over again and live a lifetime in Hell for it.  $3.25 bought my ticket to eternal damnation.  Ah well... what could I do?  I'm only human.

Magnolia Sliders
7442 1/2 Dallas St
Houston, TX 77011 (corner of 75th @ Dallas across from Mason Park soccer field)
713-385-7120 Sun-Thur 11am-8pm, Fri-Sat 11am-9pm
If you "Like" on Facebook and Check-In you'll get 1/2 off of any 1 item off of your purchase.

If I could live there, I would.  Happy artery clogging, friends!!!

T

Tila's 2011 Grammys Rundown

Ok, so I'm not gonna give every detail of this 3 1/2 hour show but I'm gonna give you the rundown of stuff I noticed. I was jotting some notes on "notepad" during performances. I was going to edit but I thought they were funny and self explanatory just the way they are. So, without further ado, here they are... Your 2011 Grammy Awards Show Critiques!

LL Cool J should get a Grammy for hotness!!!!!!!!

Christina's red lips and red glittery mic, jennifer, florence, yolanda, martina voices were strong and on point.

Ricky martin tight pants... gonna rewind and do a wiener check

Lady gaga performance, weird shoulders gave me the skivies, born this way was raw and rocked!!!

Bruno Mars / rockadoodle girl made me sleepy

Paramore red hair and outfit were too cool!

Bieber, Jaden, Usher... Will n Jada were so proud like when your kid is in Christmas show at school. Will said "THATS MY BABY!"

DONNIEEEEEE FRIGGIIIIIIN WAHLBERRRRRG! HOW ARE YOU GONNA WINK AT ME FROM BEHIND THOSE DARN SHADES??????

Gaga wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Letterman top 10 grammy surprises... funny... #1 Bieber hair = Hairpiece! hahaaaa

WTF is this heehaw trucker battle of the bands? Bob Dylan always sounds and looks drunk as hell!!!!!! His voice is shot to shit. By far that shittiest performance of the night.

Lady Antabellum took country to a cool level. So glad "quarter after 1" didnt make it to the stage. Waaaaaaaa there it is. fml. ‎"It's a quarter after 9, shuuuuut the fuck up and get off the staaaaaaaaage." My new jam. True story.

Aaaaaaaaaaand they won. Sick of that song.

Oh Jesus... Ceelo Green ... if Elton John and Stevie Wonder had a three way with a Muppet and had a baby....

Gwyneth Paltrow catsuite and hot pink earrings. Shazazz!!!!

Katy Perry looked like a sparkly ballerina princess, cute wedding vid, teenage dream was very lovie.

John Mayer, Nora Jones, Keith Urban "Joleen". Mayer looks like Depp. Jones' dress was "tres chic".

Lady Antabellum wins?? damn!

Seth Rogan is like a G6. 

Rhianna, Dre, Eminem. I'm so sick of Rhianna's excuse for why she loves getting beat downs.

Psycho angry Eminem. bleep whore. he's a studio thug. he needs help from Dr Phil.

Dre's shoes were blinding me!

Esperanza who??? We want Bieberrrrr!!!

That high school jazz band made me feel like I was in an episode of Cosby Show.

Stars we've lost... Lena Horne. Awwwww Teena Marieeeee!!!! Oh shit... that opera lady reminded me of Pretty Woman. Did they have a Tejano singer?? Jimmy Dean... I thought he made sausages. hmm

OMG Jagger looks like gay death!

What's with everyone having throat boogers, tonight?

BARBARA! You're a musical legend but pleeeeeease hurryyyyyy cause I'm falling asleep!!!

Nicki Minaj is the only person in the world who can pull off hot pink lipstick but what the eff was her Bride of Frankenstein hair? 

Eminem doesn't even look happy that he won. He looks all angry and troubled like... "Do they know about my plot to bomb this venue?"

Beyonce did the "tea time" "library" clap. Shes so damn fake and annoying. You know you ghetto, biaaaatch.

Rhianna n Drake... waaa waaa waaaa I'm over the whole he hit me but i like singing about it thing so anything she does makes me sick. Sorry, Drake.

J-Lo n Marc... most mismatched couple of all time. He's so damn ugly and she's soooo pretty and glitzy. Haaaa she cut him off from singing. 

Ugh! Are you kidding me? If I hear Lady Antabellum one more damn time.... *sigh*

Everytime I see Jason Segel, I think of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and I can't get his pickle out of my head!!!

Wtf is Arcade Fire? Sounds like a bunch of cats being raped and swung around by their tails. Fail!

ALBUM OF THE YEAR!!!!! Drumroll, please.... AND THE GRAMMY GOES TO.........

THE WHO????? I'm boycotting the Grammys. Fame Monster should have been the clear choice with way more hit singles than the others. Whatever. If I could reach the tv screen with my ass, I would totally SHART on it, right now! In the elusive words of my lil monstah, Ozzie, "Lady Gaga lost to this? No ma'am!"

So, this sums up your 2011 Grammys. Thank you and feel free to leave comments. Your feedback is appreciated.