Let's Hear It For The Toilet Paper!

So, I know I'm a little "out there" when it comes to doing the everyday things little things in life. For example, while at work and on break, the average person would go to the designated break room and check text messages, voicemail and return phone calls. I, on the other hand, go to the big stall in the ladies restroom. I call it my office. It's private, it's quiet (except for the occasional kerplunk, splash and or hiss from the neighboring stalls) and I can take my time without interruption. Today, was just like any other day. I walked in, sat in the big stall, closed the door, opened my phone and took care of business. Needless to say, besides all of the major communicating I do in "my office", I have been known, on occasion, to tinkle. Today, I had 3 giant mugs of coffee, a Coke and a Pepsi...... so, yeah. Anywho.... you would think that in a giant, downtown office building that has restroom attendants who clean each and every bathroom stall at least twice a day and refill BOTH toilet paper dispensers in each stall, a disaster like this wouldn't happen. But it did. And it happened to me. Partially, I too, am at fault for being too distracted with my damn modern technology enhanced phone but I still don't think this is totally my fault. So, I did my business, sent my last text, look at the time on my phone and reach over for the paper and DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!! NO PAPER??????? Both cardboard cylinders in those dispensers seemed to be laughing at me. It was almost evil. I almost panicked! Luckily, a break in the clouds, a ray of light...... I have a thought.... Thank you so much, OCD, for being there to back me up in my time of need. You see, I always pick the big stall because of several pros: a) it's bigger b) it's got a handy dandy hook to hang your purse/jacket c) it's got more flushing power than the other stalls d) it's closest to the door which equals less steps for me. The only con is that since it's against the wall, there seems to be a large gap between the wall and the door hinges. My OCD tried to turn me against the big stall because of that gap. You see, I can't, for the life of me, go into a restroom that doesn't have a secure lock or that has any way of anyone being able to look in while walking past. I've tried and just can't do it. Anywho.... I always grab a long strip of toilet paper and stuff one end into the top hinge and the other end into the bottom hinge creating a curtain effect. So, tadaaaaaa!!!!!!! The curtain came down and I made it back to my desk without being late. Tomorrow, I have a bone to pick with the cleaning lady. Till next time.....

Death of a Bra

So, I walk into work, this morning, ready to take on the day. As I'm walking into the 32nd floor, I hear a painful squeal, a snap and the final breath before my overworked/underpaid bra strap decides to take the final plunge and die. Luckily, I carry a mini sewing kit. So, before I get the fake smiles and morning greets, I duck into "the can" and commence surgery. After 10 minutes and a whole spool of thread, "Tadaaa! It's aliiiiive!". So, I give it a pep talk, snap it at the wall for effect and strap myself in for the day ahead. Something's wrong... Daaaaamn! The stupid strap is all twisted! Ah well, my OCD will have to take a backseat to proper work etiquette. Why can't I be a cave lady so I can swang and bang? Anywho... the moral of the story is... Show your bras some love... you never know when they'll up and quit on you.

Welcome

After much procrastinating and many requests... I've finally decided to make a blog space and write down my daily thoughts and just link all of the people who keep me afloat... my fans. Hahahaaaa that sounds stupid but it's true. I dont think my mom has ever even bugged me as much as you guys have about starting a blog. Anywho.... here you go. Oh and here is the parental advisor:

Caution: Statements expressed in this blog are the sole opinion of the author. Please be advised that some content may not be suitable for children, the weak hearted or "special helmet wearing friends". I reserve the right to block you if you disagree with anything I post.

Tila